| Friday, March 30th, 2007 |
| 9:08 pm |
out of sync
i havent written in here really in forever. but now i am because im almost sure no one will read this, and i just need an outlet because i dont want to talk. im very sad right now. let me outline the reasons: college: im very nervous that in deciding to go to unf i have thrown away a really great opportunity with the school of music. one of my primary reasons for wanting to go to unf is so that i can be near jake. but that seems like a stupid thing to seal my college fate on the more i think about it because theres always the liability of him breaking up with me. (which isnt too unreasonable given that he'll be at a different college and meeting a lot of girls) friends: i see scottie at lunch. but not on weekends. we havent "hung out" on the weekend since my birthday party (not counting spring break because thats tradition). and brit...who even knows. we have such a very short amount of high school left but the wots have grown apart. we dont spend the night together like we used to...or call each other...and the times i do call scoops shes with her new buddies (who i like) but i cant help feeling left out. and when i do endeavor to call brit shes either with robert or wants to be alone. so then what? i hang out alone on weekends unless jake is willing to give up HIS time with HIS friends (because where i lack companionship he has oodles of it)...and i cant always ask jake to give up his plans for me...though i selfishly tend to anyway. jake: dont know what to think. dont know what to feel. im scared of college splitting us up. im scared that he doesnt care about me as much as he used to. (these are more of feelings that are not entirely based on real events rather than facts) in short, im lonely and nervous and feel like im running out of time. i dont feel any better...just more organized. Current Mood:  lonelyCurrent Music: red vines |
| Thursday, July 20th, 2006 |
| 6:44 pm |
seetheproblemis...i am going to write something now because i havent written in any form of journal in WAY too long...and i am already online so this is the easiest outlet. ever have those times where it really feels like you have no friends? i am having one of those times. i get so sick of sitting at my computer in my room and just waiting for my friends...(by friends i meant jake) to get back from their evening rendezvous. scottie is out of town and i miss her, brit i working and has to get up early, eden is working, jake always has evening plans, and i feel like those are my only friends. i dont have anyone to call and even if i DID i wouldnt be allowed to go out. and when i DO go out im on very limited time. and that limited time is rarely well-spent because it usually consists of myself and the other parties involved not having any idea what to do and just asking over and over again where we should go or what we should do. i WISH i had a job or something, anything to do during the day and i wish i got invited to have plans at night. i wish jake wasnt leaving town saturday, i wish scottie would get back. but what difference does it make? im not allowed to go anywhere much anyway. and then mema tells me that im "never home" and that she thinks i do too much. i think i basically sit on my butt all day. i get up, clean my room, sit with bonnie and watch t.v. today was a good day...but i feel sad now. Current Mood:  frustratedCurrent Music: candy says-VU |
| Wednesday, April 5th, 2006 |
| 7:58 pm |
werrrrd, love time since ive updated!! i forgot about this thing and i didnt realize that other people had been updating a bit. life is insane. im tired tired tired of school. tried out for steel drum today...i sightread correctly but SLOWLY. oh well. talked to carla conners about college today she said she thinks im good enough to get into the fsu school of music. thaaaats exciting. i think ill also audition at stetson and UCF. ohhh and also spring showcase last night. tres bien. guess what tomorrow is?! guess?! jakes birthday!! i think im more excited that he is. ohhhh well. im tres exciteddddddddddd. i need to stop clenching my jaws and biting my nails. and being a nervous wreck. maybe ill take up yoga so i can relax. ohh wait. good one amy. I LOVE BIRTHDAYS. ive got cupcakes to ice. muah muah muah. by the way, i love dar williams. Current Mood: wishin i wuz blackCurrent Music: do you sleep? |
| Monday, February 13th, 2006 |
| 8:11 am |
im terrible
sorry for that outburst. im REALLY SORRY. forgive me? Current Mood:  guiltyCurrent Music: another chance please? |
| 8:01 am |
you dont know my life
bump you jake. i have friends. my only friend is NOT my livejournal, nor is it myspace. and its not uncool that i wrote in here to tell you this, because i have more friends. have you seen how many myspace friends i have?! you on the other hand, are lame. Current Mood: get over yourselfCurrent Music: whatever jake |
| Saturday, December 17th, 2005 |
| 1:09 pm |
im getting sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo sick. |
| Saturday, December 10th, 2005 |
| 12:05 pm |
|
| Saturday, December 3rd, 2005 |
| 11:18 am |
my head sorta hurts. i had a such a good time ar railroad square last night. i mean it. it was one of my favorite things ive done in tallahassee besides like...contra. its funny how many awesome things there are to do that you never know about. even though theyre right under your nose. you know? |
| Thursday, November 24th, 2005 |
| 10:20 pm |
to my friends!
dear everyone: happy thanksgiving! dear scottie: happy tofurky day! |
| Sunday, November 20th, 2005 |
| 2:04 pm |
PRESSING ISSUES!!
latest and most pressing amy updates: i have to sneeze but i cant. my appetite has decreased. joni mitchell has agreed to marry me. i wanna go to the mountain with scoots this summer. reel bad. i dont want brit to move away. i dont i dont i dont. i love my friends. i have a beret. and funky earrings. gennifer is a good sister. how are you trev? i miss julie. i want to babysit olivia again. also justice. also tyler, from my church. i hope mrs penny is okay. i really need her to be. bonnie violet jenkins is my favorite dog. achoo! |
| Sunday, November 13th, 2005 |
| 9:32 am |
farm
tell me your favorite part of the farm last night. Current Mood: jitteryCurrent Music: voice recital songs |
| Monday, November 7th, 2005 |
| 7:02 pm |
*sniffle* *cough* *eyes water* *hiccup* i think might be sick. jasmine tea is one of those things that smells and looks prettier than it tastes, no? trevor, how are you? i havent been able to ask you in a while. and i liked the poem you sent me via aim. i have the best friends in the entire world. ever ever ever and theres no doubt about that in my mind. i really do! im listening to a good song which ive never heard before. stressed and tired though i may be, im alright. didnt go to school OR yat today. as a matter of fact, i havent gone to yat in a LONG time. basically since the first class. i dont enjoy it anymore. i might as well quit. but i wont do that. i got tons of sleep today which is as rare as pepa yelling. were watching amelie at brits thursday. excited i am! there better be birthday cake flavored icecream at this event or i will be dissappointed. actually, ill bring it. ill bring the birthday cake floavored icecream but someone else needs to bring pesto and a baguette. oh yes! since its a french film, we should eat a lot of french food! escargot! crepes! baguette! if you think this is a good idea, feel free to say so and then help me provide french food. Current Mood: francaisCurrent Music: two of us |
| Saturday, October 29th, 2005 |
| 8:32 am |
i think ive made the biggest mistake of my life. i want to take it back. i tried to take it back. but its too late! i dont want this i dont want this i dont want this. ive never wanted to die more than id like to right now. Current Mood: depressedCurrent Music: evangeline |
| Sunday, October 23rd, 2005 |
| 7:01 am |
id really appreciate it if someone could please tell me what im doing with my life right now Current Music: my sweet lord |
| Friday, October 7th, 2005 |
| 10:17 pm |
incidentally, i made raman and i didnt enjoy it or finish it. |
| 10:15 pm |
i cant help it, i love these things. Your name: Where did we meet: Take a stab at my middle name: How long have you known me: When is the last time that we saw eachother: Do I smoke: Do I drink: Do I curse: Do I believe in God: When is my birthday: What was your first impression of upon meeting me: Color of my eyes: Do I have any siblings: What's one of my favorite things to do: Am I funny: Do you remember one of the first things I said to you: What's my favorite type of music: What is the best feature about me: Am I shy or outgoing: Am I a rebel or do I follow the rules: Do I have any special talents: Would you consider me a friend/good friend: Would you call me preppy, average, sporty, punk, hippie, glam, nerdy, snobby, or something else (what): Have you ever seen me cry: If there were one good nickname for me what would it be: Are my parents still together: If I had broccoli stuck in my teeth would you tell me: Have you ever hugged me: Do you miss me...do you think i miss you: What is my favorite food: Have you ever had a crush on me if you are of the opposite sex: If there was one good nickname for me, what would it be: What's your favorite memory of me: What is my worst habit: If you and I were stranded on a desert island, what one thing would I bring: |
| 9:15 pm |
thinking about world peace. and why not? its a good cause. studio singers performed at the down town getdown tonight. i probably messed up 83471 times. good job ameees. i enjoyed myself more than i intended to. i got an sno-cone, and my tongue was bright green. i always get green sno-cones because i love it when my tongue it green. i cant exactly explain why that is, but it might be because it makes me feel so childish and happy? drove off to lunch today, and i remembered how much i HATE driving. Actually, i like driving as long as im alone, or with one other person. I suddenly feel as if there is nothing more crucial in my life right now than to eat raman noodles. I saw brady's play last night, and for the record he's awesome and i love him tres tres much. seriously, i really enjoyed the play (the fairies sounded like melodeers) and i loved seeing brady in it, and seeing him at all. is there some reason why marisa must be soooooooooo gorgeous? i saw her at the downtown getdown tonight and she looked sickeningly beautiful. i should be tired but im not. i feel like being with people with guitars and piano and singing "cant find my way home". that would be nice right about now. im glad to be making new friends, especially such good ones. raman HO! |
| Monday, October 3rd, 2005 |
| 9:13 pm |
my hero. .jpg) Current Music: fire and rain |
| Saturday, October 1st, 2005 |
| 11:12 pm |
i feel very healed Current Music: everything green |
| 9:40 am |
if i had a cd of choral music right now, im pretty sure that would be the best thing for me. because im singing all our caps songs...and actually thinking about the words, and then singing though all the chorus songs that i can remember from over the years...and wow they are actually more applicable to real life than i could have imagined. |
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seetheproblemis's journal
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